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GrATTITUDE: Practicing gratitude to upgrade your attitude.

Cristian Pavel — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 15:01:48 +0000

When I get really excited about a new project or thing, I tend to focus on how it’s going to change my future life and subtly devalue my present life. I’ve noticed that this future-focused enchantment is quite prevalent and it can be quite detrimental. When my mind gets consumed by anticipation, my excitement gets accompanied by doses of frustration and impatience as well. Aspects of my present life begin to feel archaic, irrelevant, and agitating. Without warning, I energetically shift from happy to exuding shades of indifference, arrogance, and or disappointment and for often unmerited reasons…

Let me give you an example: I’ve enjoyed cycling since training and competing in undergrad. On nice days, I really enjoy the 22 mile bike commute to work on my newest road bike which I purchased from a friend in 2020. However, I recently discovered that the bike frame is a little too small for my size (possibly causing me unnecessary aches/soreness), and I’ve since been obsessing over replacing it to the point that I’ve found myself literally loathing the same bike that has provided me so many beautiful rides and memories… That’s when it hit me.

We live in a world where convenience has evolved so exponentially fast that it inadvertently demands constant change.

What are the consequences to this rapidly increasing life of convenience?

Is it just me, or is it becoming harder to be happy and appreciate the things we have?

Take music for example, when was the last time you fell in love with a song? Do you remember how differently music was distributed 20 years ago?

When I was a kid, I remember waiting around all day for a new favorite song to play on the radio just so I could tape record it and then listen to it over and over again for hours, days, even months! Today it takes 4 seconds to Shazam a new song and then add it to my endless library of Spotify playlists only to be inevitably over-shadowed by an even newer hit sometimes on the same day! (Spotify releases on average 60,000 new songs daily ). Much like our playlists; our homes, our hobbies, our technologies, and even our jobs are all loosing sentimental value at an alarming exponential rate.

Thanks to all these innovations, life has never been more incredible; this is by far the most interesting time in human history to ever be alive. However, statistically speaking, it’s also the most depressing time ever. I believe this is the byproduct of a loss of value for the present moment; this constant conditioned state of chasing leads to a severe depletion of gratitude and presence.

To best navigate these times, Melanie Ann Layer ( @melenieannelayer ) coined an interesting analogy to walking:

We move in the direction we desire by keeping one foot firmly rooted where we presently are while propelling the other foot forward.

One foot rooted in gratitude: Giving praise for the blessings that we have in this moment, and from there shifting attention to toward a desire.

Without starting each day with a simple gratitude exercise, it becomes natural to leap in too many directions and lose our sense of appreciation in the process.

Yesterday I journaled about my current bike; how I felt the first time I rode it and some of the memories I had racing and riding it. Afterwards I had one of the best work commute rides I’ve ever had. Maybe it had something to do with the wind and the weather, but my legs were pumping pure love and gratitude into those pedals, and all it took was a few moments of appreciation.

“What you appreciate, appreciates.” -Deepak Chopra

I’d be a hypocrite if I were to advocate minimalism, but what I can tell you for sure is that when I consistently slow downand begin every single day with a little appreciation for the things I currently have, my attitude shifts tremendously.

Try it out: Start your day by selecting at least 3 meaningful nouns in your life and going into detail about why you’re grateful for them. Over time, see if you notice a shift in your attitude.

The simplest practices often feel most insignificant, which is why so few people do them regularly. Ironically, these are the practices that bring out the most meaning in our lives .

With love and grATTITITUDE,

Cristiano

K.I.S.S Keep It Simple Stupid!

Cristian Pavel — Fri, 02 Sep 2022 19:02:21 +0000

Keep it Simple: Get clear on your agreements.

I’m clearly biased, but my little brother, Anthony Watts, is an incredibly talented musician and musical perfectionist. For over a decade he’s created hit after hit…Hits that hadn’t graced anyone’s ears until 2020, when he released the above EP. From my perspective, this EP, k.i.s.s. (keep it simple stupid) was by far his biggest leap! Keeping it simple (only his voice and his guitar) helped him gather the courage to finally reveal himself to the world as an artist. What’s interesting is this entire project came through him in half the time it usually would take him to produce just one song! Today, I’m proud to announce that his song “simple” just hit over 1 million streams!! And his latest release, “Woulda Coulda Shoulda” is on track to do the same!

What helped my brother push through all that built up resistance was the second of Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, don’t take things personally: “Making it about your personality, taking something personally, is the most selfish thing you can do because it assumes that everything is about you.” Very few people talk about the challenges of following your heart. When you devote your life to turning your passion into a successful career, it becomes your identity. Anthony became so obsessed with releasing the “perfect” debut song that it paralyzed him; nothing was good enough. He kept jumping from one creation to the next making each successive song more complex and sophisticated, only to toss it and repeat the process again. Imagine building up over a decade of analysis paralysis!! But it was exactly what he needed because he learned so much and made so many great connections through the process, until he was finally set free by releasing k.i.s.s. He was able to dive back into his passion and focus on his love for creating music, while letting go of what it might say about him as a person.

Our best friend, @the.dental.somm, recently acquired her dream dental practice, and on her first official team meeting as the owner she gifted each team member a copy of The Four Agreements. This brilliant first act as the practice’s new leader inspired me to reflect on the book more closely. It took me almost a decade in business to really appreciate that successful business is the product of strong and thoughtful agreements delineated to optimize a smooth and trustworthy exchange of energy. Quality service can only be delivered when clear agreements are formed and followed. Just like all other aspects of life, the clearer our agreements are in every single relationship we foster, the simpler life becomes. And every relationship is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.
The Four Agreements is a simplified guide to living with ease. If you haven’t yet, I HIGHLY recommend reading this book by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The four agreements are:
Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your Best. It’s the action of the first three agreements, under any circumstances always do your best, no more, no less.

Upon re-reading the book, I did some reflecting and I came to the conclusion that most of the struggles I’ve faced in my life were the product me of breaking my word, and or taking things personally, and or making wrong assumptions. Usually it was a combination of all three. This inspired me to create an agreement contract with myself which I signed and posted on my work desk. I HIGHLY encourage this exercise: Delineate what you expect of yourself in business, friendships, family, and in personal relationships, and the potential consequences of breaking your terms. After this, Danielle and I updated our marriage agreements, and then we revised and updated the terms and agreements for Revive Mission, Conscious Implant Training, as well as our terms for the dental services we provide in Smile Alchemy. This process undoubtably obliterated decades of future stress and hardship for us. But this is only the first step: Just because boundaries are created it doesn’t mean they won’t be tested. How you hold your standards with yourself will predicate how you’ll hold them with others and this is the best predictor for the type of people you attract in your life. In my experience, every time I’ve held someone to the standard I’ve held myself, it either resulted in that person raising their standards and later thanking me, or in parting ways with a relationship that that was ultimately not serving either party.

So, what agreements do you have with yourself? Wether you’re aware of them or not, we all have agreements with ourselves. Breaking our own agreements ultimately leads to feelings of self-doubt and low self-worth. On the flip side, each time we honor our agreements, we foster self-confidence and strengthen our inherent sense of value. Become aware of your agreements, become clear about your terms, uphold your boundaries, and observe as you grow in prosperity with ease and enjoyment!

With love and gratitude,

Cristiano

Mouth Breathing

Cristian Pavel — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 18:04:33 +0000

This is our now dear friend Lucas, one of the kindest and most uplifting souls we’ve ever encountered. When Lucas was growing up, his upper jaw growth was stunted which lead to an open bite between his front teeth which made it extremely difficult for him to breathe naturally with his nose… This robbed him of a healthy mouth and set him up for a lifelong uphill dental battle. He is by far the healthiest mouth breather we have ever met, which is a huge testament to his work ethic and dedication.

Mouth breathing is one of the most inflammatory processes possible: Our noses are designed to filter air, warm it, reduce air flow, and lubricate our lungs with nitric oxide. Mouth breathing dries the mouth, removing it of it’s most potent cavity fighting barrier (saliva), and it dries the airway while over feeding oxygen which creates a carbon dioxide deficit in the body leading to chronic inflammation (dm for the full scientific breakdown of this process).

To make matters worse for Lucas, 10 years ago he had a traumatizing dental experience, which is not uncommon especially amongst individuals who care about their health but have been dealt a bad hand. After 10 years of fearful avoidance, he mustered the courage to fly out and spend a yoga retreat-like weekend with us to get his mouth back into health.

Now he is currently wearing an upper expander to reshape his face (yes it’s possible without surgery!) and bring his mouth into the position he rightly deserves in conjunction with a breath work regiment to break the harmful mouth breathing habits. From there we will straighten his teeth with Invisalign, restore his missing teeth with implants, and grant him the smile that better reflects his heart and soul

Do you have a “stress-care” routine?

Cristian Pavel — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 18:02:53 +0000

Mental and physical decompression is the ultimate way to stay sharp, motivated, and joyful.

Meditation, Yoga, IR Saunas, Breathwork, Massages, and long walks have become ESSENTIAL to our sanity and productivity. It’s so much harder to be present without one or more of these practices daily.

When feeling most overwhelmed is usually the best time to double down on these practices, otherwise we only spiral deeper into more stress, anxiety, and anguish.

It’s ok to not have everything in order in this very moment, put the phone down and get yourself back in order first

Prioritize the activities or services that help restore your inner health, confidence, and happiness. Ultimately, these are the things we are striving for, and it’s easy to forget that we already made it. Your journey of success is not a race, it’s more like a musical, and the point is to sing and dance our way through life with gratitude and enjoyment. This is the recipe for a fulfilling life!

The struggles are in our comforts.

Cristian Pavel — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 17:20:13 +0000

The wolf at the door isn’t struggle, it’s comfort. In our culture, there’s an unspoken assumption that we must strive, strain, and struggle in order to one day reach some point where life becomes “easy.”

But the truth is that “ease” is nothing more than a mindset; it’s a shift from hating/avoiding the things that make us stronger, to learning to love them because pain/discomfort is an integral part of life. To really illustrate this point, let me tell you a story about our best friend Brian:

Brian is a successful investment banker who essentially retired and went on an epic journey around the world for a year and a half in 2016 with his fiancee, Ali. We had the opportunity to meet them in Portugal (pictured above, Brian’s in the center) when they were about 8 months into their journey. I missed them very much and I right away asked Brian, “what’s it like!?” To which he responded, “To be honest, once the excitement wore off it began to feel pretty normal. I still experience the same amounts of strain and discomforts, only they’ve changed context. Now I may find myself stressing about capturing the best sun lounge chair on the beach as I experienced when working on a large acquisition in my work.”

Brian’s unexpected response helped me realize that I had been actually devoting my life towards chasing the feeling of success, and this is something that comes from within.

When we discipline ourselves with manufactured struggles like exercise, intermittent fasting/restrictions, and facing uncomfortable mental/physical challenges, our senses heighten, our mind and body strengthens, and so does our level of appreciation and self-confidence.

At times when you’re feeling like you haven’t accomplished enough, I want you to ask yourself this question:

“What am I really chasing after?”

In these moments we have a choice:

Indulge in comforts that will only further dilute our personal-power, or wake up and do what feels uncomfortable like a warrior who screams “Bring it on!”

Whatever we resist always finds a way to persist in our being, so learning to see resistance more as a friend and guide is the key to shifting from a life of constant states of dis-ease to a life of ease.

#theobstacleistheway #oldfriendresistance